The instance just lost

Time

2011-04-27T20:37:00.000+05:30

Time passes, time flies, time changes things, time changes you. Its important to keep up with time. Very important indeed.

Popular wisdom says that past will never return, future may never come, all that you've been given as a present is present. And living present is, I believe, the way to keep up with time. Not a second in the future, not a second in the past...just here. Just now. Its funny that the 'instant just now' is hardly lived and realized! In a documentary named 'the Human Experience', a group of people travel across different countries, where humans have been forced to survive in the most testing of conditions. They are asked what they cherished the most and the answer is, invariably, 'Life! We cherish Life'. In the bizarreness of metropolitan life, of the existential worries and concerns, of the not-so-realized information overloads and of separation from self, the larger goals and dreams are lost. Lost into oblivion, and as time takes things into its hands - it gulps away all of them. Time jumps ahead of you because you were either lost in the past or dreaming the future. And before time jumps right ahead of you, turns around and has a hearty laugh, you need to grab the present and stop all that illusionary time travelling!

They say time machines cannot be built because the fundamental laws of physics deny it, but biological processes and centuries of evolution - haven't they build the most perfect and stable time machines - the human mind? Synaptic sparks, connections and linkages take you anywhere from the time you first learnt how to ride a bicycle to the day you will graduate, get a job, marry, have children and grow old. You always have this superb time machine at your command to take you anywhere - ideas, dreams and imaginations! But Delmore Schwartz wrote it very beautifully in 1937 - "In Dreams Begins Responsibility" - the responsibility to make them true!

Dr. Seuss

2010-07-30T14:12:00.000+05:30

Dr. Seuss: "'Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.'"

Discovery @ 4am: UDP=Universally Delicious Paratha

2010-02-21T04:32:00.003+05:30

OH k .. so this is another early morning posts thanks to waking up all night! The keywords for this post should be:

a cold aloo paratha,
the track 'Tu Hi Re' from the movie Bombay,
CRC (Cyclic Redundancy Check) !!
Test 1 blues

Thanks to the newly started night canteen in our campus, we get these amazing aloo parathas right upto 1am.. and then you can get them parceled for early morning food cravings (like the one I narrowly escaped today). The track 'Tu hi re' was one I listened after ages .. and thought it had a soothing and 'sleepy' note to it ( yes, a slightly sleepy song when you're trying hard to stay up all night and finish the syllabus or the course in which you know you've slept and absolutely all the classes) , listening to it was good!

After long sessions of reading the Computer Networks textbook and going through

UDP-Universally Delicious Paratha,
TCP/IP- Tasty Cauliflower Paratha / Incredibly great Paratha,
PPP- Peer to Peer Paratha,
LCP - Lettuce and Carrot Paratha, and
ADP- Another Delicious Paratha....

I finally came to CRC which stands for 'Cyclic Redundancy Check' and its an error detecting code in which redundant data is added to the bitstream to check for errors on the receiver's side.... alright alright .. i'm not continuing on this .. but yeah, this was the section i was reading when I drifted off to writing this post. It doesn't end with a 'P' .. else i'd have made it .. "Cold (but) Relishing Paratha" !!

Website of the day!!

2010-01-17T18:13:00.000+05:30

RTINation.com
"Let's change India while having our cups of tea"

-this is main tagline showing up at the homepage of this website. A great initiative to facilitate the implementation of the Right To Information Act where users can file an RTI application for as low as Rs 25/- !
--
Thanking you,
Sagar Jauhari

http://www.linkedin.com/in/sagarjauhari
http://technolark.blogspot.com

"Picture yourself in a living room"

2009-08-22T21:35:00.004+05:30

Watched the movie 17 again ? Alright ... I watched this movie a month back .. found it a good watch, a happy-ending-and-good-feeling kinda movie. Yup, so its been a month and why am i talking about it today ! Well, a chain of events took place yesterday,and finally, here we are, talking about the movie! Here we go:

Yesterday I watched another movie, I Love You Man ! Yeah, the message is right there in the name itself .. but trust me, the movie is not exactly about homosexuality. I'm not being a spoil sport.. just watch the movie for yourselves. Now, there's this scene in this movie when the guy makes the realization of his life and is driving his car and watching people.. but wait! There was something in here .. I paused it. The music .. the background score! I replayed that scene .. and keenly listened to the background score.. man, it was good! And I had heard it.. got no clue as to where or when, but I'd heard it and I was pretty sure of it. And I had probably liked it when I'd heard it the last time .. where ... where ... ah, I thought a lot .. on the radio.. no, I checked my playlist , no, I don't have it! Where were where ..
Fine! I gave up and continued with the movie .. and when it ended, i again went to the same scene and played .. and tried a lot to remember, but in vain !

Alright, next day (that's today), I was quietly having dinner and I suddenly .. damn! I remember where I had heard that track! Yeah, it was a scene in the movie 17 again!! Ha ha !! I know I where I had heard that track! Gosh, I got it! There was a scene in the movie '17 Again': somewhere around 20 minutes down the beginning of the movie there's this scenewhen Zac Efron comes out of his car in his new college. And in the background, the same track was playing! Ah, yeah! I looked into the movie 17 again, and yeah, when I scrolled to that scene, I paused.. and the played ... and the background score went:

Picture yourself in a living room,
your pipe and slippers set out for you,
I know you think that it ain't too far,

Bingo! I was right! I googled out the lyrics:

Title: Spoon - The Underdog lyrics

Picture yourself in a living room,
your pipe and slippers set out for you,
I know you think that it ain't too far,
But I,

I hear the call of a lifetime ring,
felt the need to get up for it.
oh, cut out the middle man
get free from the middle man.

You got no time for the messenger,
got no regard for the thing that you don't understand.
You got no fear of The Underdog,
that's why you will not survive.

I wanna forget how convention fits,
hmmm, but can I get out from under it?
Well I cut it out of me.
.....

The weekend begins !

2009-08-14T20:20:00.002+05:30

Ah, the first day of the 3 day long little vacation just got over! Though work's always there, the freedom from lectures and classes for even a short time gives a lot of relief.

Career Development Cell inductions!

2009-08-12T16:17:00.000+05:30

Career Development Cell inductions are going on .. first phase got over yesterday .. it was a written round where we asked the students to answer a few questions and based upon that answers, we selected some 30 odd candidates for interviews to be held today. An interesting feature of CDC inductions, which has been pertaining since the last 2 inductions is the last question of the first round, and that's the 'BLANK' question. After 4 normal questions, the 5th question is the 'BLANK' question where the students are asked to do whatever they like .. anything at all (in the boundaries of the a4 size paper they have! :) ). Yesterday, some wrote poems .. some drew .. some wrote jokes (semi-lame ones) .. some wrote quotations , proverbs .. etc etc ..and some did something that we almost couldn't comprehend thanks to the illegible handwriting and the amazing drawing skills (and a mixture of both).

Anyways, I have to take the interviews today, hoping to rope in some talent by the end of the day! :)

[PS: For those who don't know about Career Development Cell, i'd write an exclusive post on it soon ..]

Air France 447

2009-06-03T13:35:00.003+05:30

The wreckage of Air France flight 447 is now being found. All the passengers are feared dead. Its being said that this would be one of the most tragic accidents in the history of Air France, the last being the crash of a Concorde in 2000. The French PM has exclaimed that it is becoming extremely difficult for the military to recover the debris from the ocean since the depth there is more that 7 km , and the area under inspection is around 400 miles off coast! This distance from the mainland proves to be yet another hurdle for the deployment of military services.
Experts are giving theories on how the plane would have crashed but no concrete explanations have come out yet. Things should become much clearer when the black box is recovered, but till then all we can do is wait.
The friends and relatives of more than 200 passengers on board would be in shock. Most of the times we have either terrorists, or military or sometimes human error to blame, but at times like these, we have none!

sagar is ..

2009-05-20T20:24:00.003+05:30

sagar is at home
sagar is stretching his legs and basking away in the vacations
sagar is excited
sagar is waiting
sagar is teaching a calculator how to claculate
sagar is looking ahead

Spree 09

2009-04-11T00:16:00.003+05:30

The aroma of steaming maggi noodles filling my room, thanks to the fact that the incredible dinner in the mess was casually skipped and later regretted when the stomach started shouting, "i'm hungry " !! Busy days ahead, and the ones that have just passed. Spree 09, the annual national sports festival of BITS Pilani, Goa Campus has just grown so extravagently in the last couple of years that it makes you notice the transformation when people refer to it now as 'the sports festival' from 'a sports festival' ! So many brains have worked, so many ideas have clashed to eventually make it the hottest sports festival. Ofcourse , things don't always go perfect, and sometimes, not at all perfect (like the flag getting temporarily stuck during the big inaugration ceremony), but it is definitely amazing to see the whole festival coming out successful.

Sunday Morning personalities :)

2009-03-22T07:30:00.003+05:30

Oh k this is one of those strange, and very unlikely 'sunday' morning posts :) . When Sagar Jauhari is blogging on a Sunday morning, it means three things: First, that Sagar had an exam early morning, or second, that Sagar didn't sleep the whole night in anticipation of something (possibly tests!! ), or third, that Sagar 'actually' woke up real early! Now, this time it is the second reason, and the reason for the second reason is also the most obvious, 'tests' ! And then, there's a YES!+ gathering and followup at 8am, and I just didn't want to miss it, so I kicked off the sleep out of me becoz had I slept, I would have definitely missed it ! And well, after I was feeling great about myself for being so 'considerate', 'responsible' etc etc for the followup, I actually went about in the hostel waking up all YES!+ enthusiasts! :) "I've waken up entire night, my friends, you think I will let you have the most adorable sunday morning sleep! No ! " And so , some people woke up instantaneously (my pleasure), some people woke up making weired noises (Walia opened his door rubbing on his eyes and grunted loudly when he saw I had woken him up @ 7:30 on a SUNDAY !! It was a squeeky sound similar to that made by rusty doors, or when you inflate a baloon and hold it tightly with your thumb and index finger and then let tiny gap of about 0.23 mm between them (Dums would surely appreciate this number!! ). I have other analogies, but let me keep them to myself for the time being ), some others like Rav denied straight away (they must be cursing under their breath.. I just wish they saw their clocks .. ah!! ).

And well, 13 minutes left for the meeting and just now Mudit came to my room to ask what time is everyone leaving for the SAC. Having just shaved on this 'Sunday morning' my friend hasn't realized that his entire left cheek is covered with foam :). And I am not telling him till we reach SAC !!

Just see how everyone transforms into on a Sunday Morning! I can still hear the sound of Counter Strike somewhere in my hostel, on a weekend, play overnight

Ohk, anurag is calling, I have to go !

The White Tiger, by Aravind Adiga

2009-03-13T22:24:00.003+05:30

That's the book I am currently reading, 'The White Tiger', by Aravind Adiga. Fresh style, that's the first thing that came to my mind after reading the first few pages. What I loved the most is the lucid language and the uncommonly short sentences! Keeping connectives at the bay, Aravind Adiga has very effectively shown how a common lower class Indian man thinks ('Indian' is the most important adjective here). He has written about incidents which we wintness everyday, but somehow, fail to acknowledge, or, maybe, dont' want to comprehend! Just like the recent blockbuster 'Slumdog Millionaire', this book describes the feeling, the thought process and the reactions of people living much below what can be called 'comforatble' in our terms.
The story is that of a man called Belram who works for a family in Delhi as a driver and is written in first person. The series of events that take place and the author lands Belram in a situation he had never dreamed of ! :)

At last

2009-03-03T21:01:00.003+05:30

An exciting beginning of a week, with time flying as never before ! Saturday had mid-sem exam, Tuesday (today) had a practical exam, and 2 reports, and a microprocessors lab on video graphics (of which we had no idea of , thanks to the earlier commitments ! And the gaps between all these events filled with strange, but unforgettable happenings! And each happening leaving it trace for the future in the form of a realization of a point where I had gone wrong, or where I had been simply waiting for time to run its course with me, being a mute spectator!

Life's very short, and time is now ! That's something I've learnt at last!

Old age, discovered on a train to Goa

2009-02-24T00:15:00.006+05:30

Now that I actually realize something I always thought I believed: Travel, apart from the temporary insomniac behavior it renders, the prolonged time of waiting to reach the destination it does has its advantages !
For example today, in the train from Mumbai to Goa, I happened to get a seat with a couple of elderly people. I noticed that the man sitting beside me had some complication with his left arm. He was continuously holding it with his other limb and lifting it with effort. Now and then he looked at his hand and unfolded his fingers with pain (the impulsive cross lines on his forehead revealed enough). I have always seen aged people with an eye of respect: men and women with experience, who have seen time much more than me, who might be feeble and weak, but their minds have stories which would take eons to narrate. But today, I realized another side of old age when I asked this person about his problem.

But, before that, let me rewind the story to the point where I actually started getting interested to know more. Earlier, after I had had my home-made lunch, I realized I somehow had a couple of candies in my bag. I offered one to the old man thinking that he would definitely reject it ( u know, mature stuff, candies are for kids and allied .. ), but he gratefully took it from me! And in no time he was fiddling with the wrapper trying to find a way how to remove the wrapper from the candy! His eyes were weak, and one arm was being used with effort, he was slow considering his age, but he was keen to remove the wrapper and wasn't being able to. I couldn't hide my smile and offered to help. At this. he hurriedly gave it to me as if all he wanted was to unwrap the candy by whatsoever means! He was impatient. And there, in the next 5 seconds after I had been successful in helping, he seemed to relish it in his mouth. That's when it struck me that we are born innocent, and towards then end, we tend to become the same! And then I started noticing this man sitting beside me whom I was unknowingly generalizing as a typical old aged person.

I told you about his arm, and after being a bit inquisitive about my observations, I asked him about the arm. He suddenly sprung up and started telling me with grave eagerness his answer in some language I didn't know. But I could make out that some doctor at some place in Mumbai had given him 7 injections in the chest because of the ailment. He told all this to me, all annoyed, and mentioned the 'injection' with great stress. Yes ! He was afraid of injections and was all the more proud of having let the doctor do it to him. Just the thought of having 'survived' 7 injections gave him such a deep sense of pleasure and made him feel brave ! :) It is just like children , when they do petty things that they definitely are proud of, then try to tell it eagerly to anyone they come across! They would tell it in detail, using as much gestures as possible, waving their hands, nodding to make you understand that they really have done a great job. And you just praise them and that's all they want ! And I could see the same thing here when he was pointing his index finger towards his chest and wrinkling his forehead when he was talking about he injections. I smiled.

So this is something I learnt! When we would grow old, we would revert back to what we were when we were kids. We would need help waling, talking and eating. And we would need people to praise us for things that we call 'petty' or 'insignificant' at this point of time. This is the circle of life.

Now why am I writing all this? In old age physical strength deteriorates, mental stability diminishes. And what are we doing to sort it out? We can't solve the problem but we can help people through this! We are establishing old-age homes, we are giving them concessions at various levels, we are giving them medical treatment at discounted rates. A minute. Who is 'we' here ? Did I use 'we'. I should have used 'they', because have 'we' done anything till now? It is 'they' who are actually working. It is the will of the men in Ahmedabad where 5 star facilities are being given to an old age home called 'shravan ashram'. It was in Chandigarh where the week-long NSS camp of Dev Samaj College for women concluded its valedictory ceremony at Old Age Home this New Year. Numerous agencies and NGOs are working in your city with the motive to bring a bit more life to the people in the sunset years of their lives. Again the question comes, what can 'we' do ? We can start with thinking about them as our immediate ancestors, fountains of experience and innocence. Not following the regular trend of seeing them as liabilities or as a burden, but feel responsible for them and their condition. There are mothers, fathers, grand mothers, grand fathers, uncles, aunts, old neighbors who need to be looked after responsibly, who need to be taken care of because they are just like the children we see. The only difference is that we are beginning to follow a culture of selective respect. Traditionally, in most world histories, you can find that the elders were always respected and given a rightful position in the family. All the family decisions would first be consented by them. They were taken care of and cherished as persons of knowledge. It becomes our duty to make sure these values are not forgotten.

Exam time

2009-02-11T21:23:00.001+05:30

Well, the first tests of the semester are coming again with all the
strange i-wish-i-had-studied feelings ! :D Starting from the 14th, with
not much gap after our 3 day annual technical festival, QUARK 09, the
testes are proving somehting like a surprise after the much enjoyed
times during the festival! Chalo, anyways, hoping for the best .. (hope
the average stays low low low !! ;) )

--
cheers,
Ocean

The country needs to break away from the circle!!

2009-01-31T18:48:00.008+05:30

Oh k .. so finally with my hundred and 'oneth' post !
Well, I had initially thought that this post, after scoring a century, would be on some out-of-the box thought, a completely new story , a major and drastic change possibly in me, something huge that I would like to undertake, some very different aspect that I would discover, something that would change the history of mankind! Well, nothing of that sort happened, obviously, these first few lines tell you that much!

How did this week go ? Yeah yeah, I know you are not interested in that. Okay, lets take up some social issues, grievances still prevalent in India, and something we need to work against, as youth. I have always considered that the problems that this country faces today, or, as a matter of fact, all developing countries, is that the entire development and progress is simply going around in a circle! You would contradict me saying that, no, we are progressing very rapidly which means the development is linear, not circular! But think about it from a different perspective. What I believe is that all progress that we are seeing today is not linear, it is circular, with an increasing diameter.

Yes, I am a computer science student, and as all of us tend to do, I too talk in terms of models and and algorithms and flowcharts to solve problems. But before presuming that, read further.

Lets start at a point in the whole circle. A rural area in some part of this country facing illiteracy. The children aren't educated enough and when they would grow up, they would find it difficult to face the competition. Many a rural education programmes were initiated by the Govt. of India, but because of corruption at every stage, starting right from the allocation of funds to the distribution of notebooks, somehow, all these initiatives resulted into manipulated promises and huge vote banks. And it all ended there.

Ok, so we were talking about illiterate children. Now when these children grow up, there are many who find it difficult to support themselves. What do they do? They turn to professions where they are made to bend the laws, where they have to turn to activities like stealing, smuggling, drug traffficing. Yes, criminals are born, how else will they fill their stomachs?

So, we've walked from illetracy and unemployment to criminalization. What next ? Make your guess. Illiteracy comes again! The government has to allocate huge amount of resources to contain criminal activities, insurgencies and militancy in the country. Revenue is lost in terms of smuggling, and illegal trade, both being typical results of criminalization. The money which could have actually been used to purchase slates and chalks for a nursery school in a rural village of Rajasthan has to be diverted to the cause of internal security.

So isn't is s circle ? A circle which seems to grow as the nation develops, but it still remains only a circle. Never becomes a line. And this is only one of the circles we are talking about! There exist many concurrent circles, interconnected and ever increasing , both in the magnitude and the complexity.

Our country needs to break away from this circle. Soon.

Interesting website

2009-01-24T16:49:00.002+05:30

Friends, I found this amazing site which really interested me ! Its called Inventoids (tiny Inventions) :)
The author has written about his tiny, little and really meaningful inventions. Go check them out, you will be amazed :)

Choices !

2009-01-23T17:42:00.002+05:30

It is always about choices ! Always !.. So, right now I have two choices, either I yield myself to the flow and let happen what all is happening .. or I carry forward the resolution of making something of this weekend ! :)
Guess I just chose the latter !

How I Met Your Mother

2009-01-17T18:25:00.008+05:30

'How I met your Mother' ! ah that's what had been going on lately .. but yeah, finally I've watched all the previous episodes and now, sadly, I'd have to wait every week for the new one :( . Ah, this series is fun ! With the whole variety of characters and the so dramatically different personalities, you keep wondering how these guys get together. Well, they don't, not always but yeah, most of the time. The story is about Ted Mosby and his friends. Ted is narrating to his kids the story about how he met their mother! That's how the name goes. About the characters:

Ohk, so, first of all, we have Ted Mosey the architect, who is concerned about a variety of things in life like dating.. and .. well, that's all. Yes, his interests end there! Every new story begins with Ted hooking up with some other girl and ends with him realizing that she's not the one! He looks out for some serious relationships which, somehow, the girls of New York find too much to bear!

Next would be Marshal Erickson, a tall, stocky, girlish male! He sheds 'tears' when his boss shouts at him, is keen to protect the environment and work to stablize global warming. His wife , Lily (wait, I am coming to her), is the only girl he's ever had a crush on. They've been together since high school and their stories mostly revolve around each other and how sensitive Marshal is ! :)

Next in the line would be Robin Scherbatsky (mind the last name), a rough football loving and children hating Canadian, and well, one of the hottest girls around! Having been a teen popstar (something she is now the most embarrassed about), she's dated Ted.. and well, tonnes of other people, but I guess, the number should be less than that of Ted! And yeah, she's got 5 dogs, yeah five!

Now, Lily (Marshal's wife), is someone you can never tell a secret. She goes shopping everytime she's low and thanks to that, Marshal's got a huge credit on his cards! She's a kindergarten teacher and well, that tells enough!

And finally, Barny Stinson ! :) The guy who thinks about two and only two things in life: One, how to have a one night stand and , two, how to get off the girl by next morning. He is always in a suit and well, his universal theories about romance and dating (one being the 'Lemon Law', another that a guy should never get 'married' ) are simple awesome! (that's what he calls everything about him: awesome). He does something, I haven't been able to figure out what , but in his lavish office, all he does is peeking into neighbouring offices with his 'awesome' binoculars.

Wrote after long. Was talking to an old friend this afternoon about this series and thought I should it jot it down here !

Well, there's a lot more, obviously, watch all that for yourself. Enjoy.

YES ++ 2009, Bangalore

2009-01-09T18:15:00.001+05:30

yes ++ pics here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/sagarjauhari/Yes200902#

2nd year, 2nd semester

2009-01-09T17:30:00.002+05:30

So! The new semester has finally begun ! Funny to see all what a fresh semester has to promise nearly everyone.. awesome grades .... full attendance ... (anything more needed ?? ). And all what it becomes nearing to the end ! No comments .. :)
But anyways, there are many more things happening too .. just came to know that the CAT results are out (I am excitingly awaiting a phone call !!), preparations for QUARK have begun :) ...... have been trying to compile an important piece of code but unable to do so (what does 'segmentation fault' mean? that's what my compiler keeps puking out !! ), an important trip I have to make in the near future but am unable to plan it out somehow (now I have to tickle my brain cells a bit) ..... I have to figure out a way to study POM (don ask me what that means)....... blah blah blah ...

on Exile ..

2008-12-26T21:52:00.000+05:30

well friends .. m on exile for the next .. hmm .... 7 days .... ha ! some time .. only with myself .... :)

:)

2008-12-25T13:41:00.001+05:30

pics:
http://picasaweb.google.com/sagarjauhari/FourGoToALostIsland#

Hello !!

2008-12-23T21:34:00.000+05:30

Yeah, I know I know long time .... huh, have been travelling :) and that to .. al lot .. well, the journey isn't over yet though there is a brief halt .. I get to catch some breath ..
Anyways, would soon put up a new verse on www.poemsofsagar.blogspot.com
Draft is ready .. jus a bit left to the finishing part ..
have fun

26 November 2008

2008-11-29T17:58:00.002+05:30

It was just another evening for me, my friends, and all those people in Mumbai who did not know what future had in store for them. And then we all know what happened.
Terrorists stormed into hotels.. terrorists shot at pedestrians .. terrorists got into a police jeep and fired whosoever they would take aim of, terrorists killed innocent children.

And this is not the first time ! People have seen this before. In fact I I was in Ahmedabad when the last strike took place on 26 july 2008, and I had seen the fear , the aggression and most importantly , the sense of insecurity in people's eyes. Anything can happen, anytime, this is what we had realised that day.
And what have we done to ease our self doubt over the fate of innocent lives? Its a fall of the basic beliefs that make up a human. The basic essence of humanity, faith has been compromised.

Are we going back to the stone age when men fought for food? Indiscriminate quarrels, fights and murders for something as simple as a chunk of bread. Yeah, it is not the matter of food here but isn't it the hunger for propagation of a particular set of beliefs that is driving all these massive murders called 'terror strikes' ? Just like a bunch of cro-magnans spilling blood for what they think is correct.

Now the question is not what is happening, because we all know what exactly is happening here. Thanks to the more than required media coverage today that we assume to be knowing things before they actually happen! The grave inefficiency of the intelligence services, the lack of concern for the common man, and the so very myopic vision of our leaders that even the vision of a single year down the lane seems quaky !

Now, I very well know that it is very easy to sit here on my chair, with the fan on full speed and a messenger on my side panel showing me which of my friends are online and brag about right and wrong and trying to assume that I can feel what a man who had seen his wife dying in front of his eyes could have felt. Indeed it is ! But what is not easy is to pull yourself together and take a step against all of this. What is not easy is to make yourself believe that humanity is at stake !

The instance just lost ! :)

2008-11-21T18:18:00.005+05:30

"Do you think you need a reason to be happy ?". This was my reply when a friend asked why I was always claiming to be happy all the time! See, now people think you ought to be crazy if you say that you are happy all the time! Because it is not cool, isn't it ! A strange and a not so realized idea is what people have about it that being tense and looking focused makes you look cool ! When you are constantly expressing you worries about a particular matter and showing that you are damn serious about it .. it gives an implication that you are one person who really wants it done ! But does it ! Think hard ..

Anyways, not talking about the what things imply and what people tend to think about .. well, it is actually not necessary for you to be happy ! Ha, just think about it ... you are sitting quietly in your room .. in solitude .. and you have accomplished all that you had planned for the day .. and that's all ! At such times, you are not happy because you are thinking about what would you be doing the next day ! Huh ! Then what's the use of accomplishing things when their success doesn't make you happy , you always keep thinking of what to do next !
Take the same situation again .. you are sitting quietly in your room .. in solitude .. and you have accomplished all that you had planned for the day .. and you are happy .. happy about what you did .. happy because you did something to be happy ! And once we start believing this .. we can be happy all the time because every instance you just lost ... was the instance you actually just lived ! So be proud of it and stop finding reasons to be happy ! Come on !! Don't think ..... start right now !! :) ha ha !!

A higher plan

2008-11-17T02:31:00.005+05:30

Sitting in my room, lights are on and the doors and windows are surprisingly wide open even at this time of the night. It is raining outside and a cold breeze is filling the air with the smell of wet mud. Rains in November. Ah, this is Goa my friends!

As the chain of recent events are continuing to make me ponder over the way future is just a reflection of what happened in the past, I am now beginning to admire how delicate and thin strings tend to make you the way you are today. Now, for example lets talk about Sagar Jauhari. His inability to get into the engineering college he wanted, his success in the subsequent attempt but grievance in a way he hadn't expected, his decision to go along with his dream clashing with the way he would like to see himself 10 years from then, the expectations people near and dear seemed to have, the desperation in which the important decision of selecting the place where he had to spend the next four years had to be taken, finally deciding and hoping the advices of people going against the decision would change, clinging to the decision till a time when there was no looking back, meeting new people who nearly had the same fears and concerns because they too had made the same decision, and finally renaming the way you had dreamed to call yourself. And in between, somewhere someone making him believe that everything had a reason. And that 'somewhere' becoming the turning point of the way he had thought all his life.

This long chain of events seems to be just perfect to me today. I see it as a single straight line to a destination, which is where I am thinking all this right now. There is, indeed, a bigger plan for all of us. It is just a matter of time.

DEADLINES !!!!

2008-11-13T21:24:00.002+05:30

Well, well, interesting days going on ! Seems all the deadlines of the semester are converging at the same point of time. Got a presentation tomorrow, but it is interesting and the interest in it is the only reason I see some progress in it from my fellow mates. And an hour after that would begin the grueling Viva of biology ! .. Seems like it is gonna be an interesting time ! LOL

2008-11-05T17:22:00.002+05:30

Tests finally give away .. and the whole world seems a much better place !! Some of the papers just make you think .. what are they testing man !! Like in Electrical Science (ES), we were craving to recollect the value of dumb constants ... aah, why should you remember them, just a couple of additional lines in the question paper giving those values would have sufficed eh ! But anyways .... all's well that ends well.... and all's too good that ends fabulously !! (no, m not talkin about the xams ... MOS (mechanics of solids) today was not that delicious a piece of cake !! ). Still, it is not tough to see happiness in every 'milisecond' or even 'nanosecond' of you life... and sometimes.... it becomes a practice .... and a time comes when everything's too good to be true, and still you are not amazed .... ha ha !!

Anyways, I have to fix a lot of things and clear out some deadlines... (because I have overstepped them )... and there's a list of things I have to do ... but most important of them, I want to go back to my high school ... huh, but can't !!

Some breathtaking creations !!

2008-11-02T14:19:00.003+05:30

Ah, well, I came across this blog yesterday and since then, I have simply been admiring the works of this person. Here are the links:
blog: Nemesis
album: (on Picasa)

A truely good collection of original and breathtaking artwork :)

enjoy ....

I searched for my name on google ....

2008-11-01T21:36:00.004+05:30

guess what !! I searched for my name on google and all the web results on the first page were actually mine !!! :) ...... ha ha .. very occasional !!

interesting page :

2008-11-01T21:14:00.000+05:30

http://www.google.com/hauntedhouse08/index.html

Some pieces just fell in the right place !! :)

2008-10-30T21:08:00.004+05:30

One of the three 'exam' times of the semester.. when every moment you just breathe a sigh and try to convince yourself... man, soon it will over !! It is the time when all the creativity just blooms out of you.. when your discover lost talents ! Little dancing sketches around problems you couldn't solve... movies that had stayed on your computer for long and you had never bothered to watch suddenly become enticing .... you suddenly develop a strange love for electricity problems because you believe that if electricity blows off just before the exams , it is definitely not your fault that exams didn't go well ... the night before the exam, you somehow figure out that you never bought a pencil in the entire semester and that you need one the next day ... huh....

But it is adventurous (some would say this is a good way to boost the enthusiasm) but seriously, won't life become very monotonic without exams ! ha ha ! Guess it is I , who curses every time i find the number of pages of the text I have to mug up for the exam, is saying such a thing !! But :), not more comments about exams being good.. I will be murdered in my bed ...

Anyways, one more update... I remember having written this post some time back..in which I compared life to a painting getting filled bit by bit... huh.. I am happy that I can finally see pieces falling in the right place.... :)

Diwali !!

2008-10-28T18:39:00.005+05:30

First things first ... have a happy happy Diwali :)

image courtsey:http://www
.cupertino-ch
amber.org/about
chamber/diwali
2006/images/
diwali-72.jpg

What a festival .. now that I see it from a secluded point of the globe .....i just seem to love it !!
I would associate Diwali with: sweets, crackers.. people..... laughs....diyas and candles ... Light !! ..... phone calls .... music .... hymns....new things ..gifts....awesome dinner !.....elders.... family... friends... blessings.. prayers....season discounts :) .... sales....money... Lakshmi poojan.... wealth... cleanliness .... renovation..... beginning of winter... new clothes.... colors....fun ... children...... :)
and the most important of all.... smiles !!

Mythology says that the festival originated when Rama came back home from his 14 year exile after the defeat of Ravana ... and the people of Ayodhya (if m nt wrong) lit diyas in the entire kingdom to celebrate his return... and hence the name 'deep-awali'.

Even today, Diwali is a a celebration. A festival of glistening new-ness !!

..

2008-10-22T18:16:00.001+05:30

A warm gale, a scorching sun and and four overcrowded buses !

nofin as such !

2008-10-14T18:14:00.001+05:30

Veg burgers, TRW Group discussions, EPS speeches and MT reports :)

It is sunday evening again !

2008-10-12T22:19:00.002+05:30

It is sunday evening again !! And , every monday I gotta submit a report .... huge one this time !! Every week I decide that I wouldn't leave the work till the last day (sunday), and every sunday, I find myself starting that report ! Huh !!

A sketch I made long back.

2008-10-09T03:20:00.002+05:30

sketched on 3rd Oct, 2006

Niversa Lakore .... that's what I named her ...

Hols !!

2008-10-07T17:59:00.002+05:30

Sitting in my balcony and looking out, people going home...people not going home....Yeah, a little vacations we've got, of two days !! but still feels good to say YIPPIE !! vacations !!! LOL ;)

Navratri season is up ... and it becomes yet another addition to our lives after zephyr 2008 proved to be much more fun than anticipated ! Ha, would never forget some moments like the desperation in finding a topic for IGNobel awards (now that I think about it, HOW DID WE COME 2nd !!!), managing the emotional upheavels of perosns the night before the solo song event, and finally, the 3 min video we made for the Fash P, which made every single person in the auditorium cheer of our hostel !! What a scene ! Never had anticipated such a massive response ... most of the people standing and shouting .... CH2 ..... CH2 ... huh !! Amazing ...

Would write elaborately on all these events soon (now that I am free for a couple of days ! :) )

DJ nite @ BITS Pilani, Goa

2008-10-05T02:53:00.001+05:30

A few glimpses :)

For more, check out: http://picasaweb.google.com/sagarjauhari/Zephyr200802

After victory @ ignobel awards...

2008-10-04T02:20:00.003+05:30

A little photoshoot !!

Ice Golazzzzz

2008-10-02T17:20:00.002+05:30

Zephyr begins, but I 'd tell the whole story later,
right now I am more interested in ice golazzzzzzzzzzzzzz !!!

frnzzzzzz

2008-10-01T20:22:00.000+05:30

Not really of the idea what I am upto ! Zephyr starting tomorrow, and a lot of deadlines have to be takin care of. Test one ends with disappointments. Life keeps moving on ...
The wheels of time turn real fast sometimes! A moment you are thinking straight, and the next, you are muddled to the extent you can't think of. But suddenly soemthing charming shows its presence, and the whole world seems so straight again !
I am talking about a photograph I saw today. The subject of the mail said 'frnzzzzzzzz', and yeah, it was a pic of 8 friends. Just before I started to read the mail, I had no clue what the mail had for me, I had forgotten that I was to receive this mail today. I had to do nearly ten things at the same time, and I remembered that I hadn't checked my mails (that becomes the 11th thing), I had to collect my 'mechanics of solids' test paper, I had to go to the mess since I was already late in collecting my coupons, I had to finish making the hostel video for Zephyr, I was hungry: I had to get something to gobble, I had to start with the report whose deadline was nearing in, I had to complete atleast a chapter in the book I was reading....... and manny more. It was frustrating to witness so many random things hovering over my head, all at the same time. I just wished time would slow down...
But then, I opened this mail and, loaded the photograph... and a moment later, I realize that I am smiling ! I saw a familiar face, all happy as I have wished it should always be. And for a moment, I noticed how pleased I was, when all the frustration and disappointment just vanished away. For a moment, I was myself. For a moment, I was just looking...
Happens, when something means a lot to you.

Finally, changed the template !!

2008-09-29T04:10:00.002+05:30

Changed the template of the blog....... whew, took me a hell lot of time to select the template, and then some major tweaks for it to look the way I wanted....

still, there are some lose ends left to be tied.... like the favicon....
would do it shortly..

Software freedom day @ BITS Pilani, Goa Campus

2008-09-28T13:24:00.004+05:30

The two day event, Software Freedom Day, celebrated in our college, BITS Pilani Goa Campus ended yesterday...
With a number of personalities speaking and presenting various aspects of Open Source Software, it was aimed to promote the freedom of creating, manipulating and distributing free software.

Some of the photographs have been uploaded here.

Also seen were competitions like open source quiz, open showcase and 'My beautiful Linux'.

The Art Of Living Yes + course @ BITS Pilani Goa campus...

2008-09-23T21:25:00.003+05:30

Jus finished with the poster for this event ....

not bad !!

links:
http://www.artoflivingyouth.org/
www.artofliving.org/

Lake-side Adventure !!! :D

2008-09-23T01:04:00.006+05:30

Aah !! The end of the first tests and what relief . It was a week of:

Surprises: Chapters we had no idea existed in the books
Desperation: To finish atleast half the syllabus.
Night outs: And subsequent 'day ins' sleeping in your room
Routine: Because the tests won't start only when you wake up
Conspiracy: That others do bad so that the average goes down :)
Consolation: That the next tests would be better

But anyways, I am not going into the details of 'Bitsian' lifestyle in this post atleast because I have to talk about a little adventure we had today:

5:00 PM
I am in my room finishing the movie 'A wednesday'. I liked the concept and was hooked to the laptop since the previous hour. 10 minutes for the movie to end, and the climax was high on !! KNOCK KNOCK. Who is it ?? Open the door man.. Oh k damn, wait..
Everybody was sick of the emptiness the post-traumatic session gives you (m talking about the tests) and my friends wanna go out.

Ocean, heman, krana, walia, ganta, mudit, anurag:
Where man ?? Same old Vasco ? Naaa, lets go to the little pond we discovered that day (click here for knowing about that adventure)... ya ya , nice idea. Let us.... but what we gonna do, just go and jump off the wall and come back, sometihng else.. oh k, we could go the nearby lake we have heard about.. man, it is far.... and we dont' know the way too. ...Arey, it is near, I can tell you, oh k, lets check on google maps... naah, dont' wikimapia loads faster I think... kk.
(After nearly 45 minutes of brainstorming (which at a point resulted in a plan to swim to Mauritius starting from Bogmalo beach) we clalked out the path it was decided we go to this little lake nearby.)

Arey, I won't go man, it is boring.... no you should come man.... don't be a spoilsport.. ya, even I won't come.. I ma hungry, going to the mess.. I am ready... ..etc etc etc....

6:00 PM
What remained were maybe 5 people and a couple others joined in.

6:30
We leave the gates of the campus not sure of the destination. Still wondering if 'Vasco' was a better option.

6:45 PM
Around half a mile from the campus we reached the V turn we were hoping to find. And another half mile let us into a green landscape adjoining the lake.

After the road seemed to bring us nearest to the lake, we jumped into the wet grass and took the road never taken !!

In a very short time, we reached the dyke that held the water of the lake. A mossy stairwell led up the little dam and the thick wall acting as a dyke.

After climbing up, we found another set of green mossy and slippery steps leading down to the water.... :) finally, we had reached the destination !

That's all about today. A good and a not so conventional end to the first tests.

Exam on a sunday morning !!

2008-09-21T10:25:00.003+05:30

EPS paper was a piece of cake, and the marvelous thing that happened was that first time I saw how the sun looks on a Sunday morning !!! ha ha !! been months since had woken early on Sunday.....
(when I yawningly came to my balcony, the first thing I saw were the 'dogs' of BPGC !!! .... and later, the beautiful sun, the trees the grass ....... )

One more paper to go : MOS, more of mechanics, and the reason it is enticing !! (only when you are prepared, )

let go !!

2008-09-18T17:49:00.005+05:30

Two exams over and more 4 to come !! Whew, hectic time !!

Ah well, things sometimes change so drastically that you find yourself wondering what the hell happened ! What would happen if something very important in your life vanishes away ? Suddenly, the motive that had driven you for years simply comes crashing down ?
I have been searching breathlessly where was the mistake ? Where did I go wrong ? Everything seemed so perfect and in a matter of seconds, things have changed !! I had held on for so long, trying to grasp more, bit by bit, but now, in the end I had to let go. . .

I just hope, this is not the end.

:)

2008-09-16T22:48:00.001+05:30

I found a good poem :
poem: a promise

Posted on Apr 20th, 2006 by WH

a promise

We have forgotten the words. Morning calls
to us but our ears have become stone.

There are syllables in dawn light spoken
in a foreign tongue. The trees turn their leaves

to hear the song. Simple starlings answer
with enchantment. Behind clear sky

hangs an ivy-shrouded mirror
reflecting everything we refuse to see.

_____

It is not like this. Mt. Rainier still wears
robes of snow. Deep lungs of sage

exhale an elemental breath. Within
the hollow of this moment lies a meadow

where black-tail deer graze on grass,
where an exposed rock is an altar

covered in lichens. We have forgotten
how to kneel. Our faces have grown mute.

_____

Beside the river, sensuous vowels rise
in our throats. We swallow, but the language

is in our blood. Wild roses, cut off
at the roots, over and over, will always

grow back. This is the promise. That
even when we are planted beneath stone

we will grow again, relearn the song,
open our mouths, feel our roots in fertile soil.

courtsey: http://integral-options.gaia.com/blog/2006/4/poem_a_promise

Forgetting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2008-09-16T21:23:00.000+05:30

Forgetting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Forgetting (retention loss) refers to the apparent loss of information already encoded and stored in an individual's long term memory. It is a spontaneous or gradual process in which old memories are unable to be recalled from memory storage. It is subject to delicately balanced optimization that ensures that relevant memories are recalled. Forgetting can be reduced by repetition and/or more elaborate cognitive processing of information. Reviewing information in ways that involve active retrieval seems to slow the rate of forgetting.

Forgetting functions (amount remembered as a function of time since an event was first experienced) have been extensively analyzed. The most recent evidence suggests that a power function provides the closest mathematical fit to the forgetting function.

I really don't understand much of this, all I can say is that it is tough man !!

ha !!

2008-09-06T21:36:00.000+05:30

Sometimes, we have no questions....

That's what it is all about.

2008-08-27T22:07:00.000+05:30

Judgement ! What happens when we are to judge people, when we have to select a few and just reject all the others ? When people with all credentials and backgrounds come to you and you have to send them back ?
You only hope that if they aren't getting here, they surely will have the determination to reach elsewhere. That's what it is all about.

Raksha-bandhan expedition !!

2008-08-16T21:40:00.005+05:30

Ah, what a stroll, climb, jump, exploration, discovery...or whatever you categorize it as !

The story begins when three of us were getting bugged sitting in the hostel, and thought of doing something out of the box! Well, Vasco was a boring option because it was just yesterday that we had been there, and anything else would have made our already guilty hearts (and sorrowful pockets) weigh down with lavishness. Anyways, without any decision, we decided to decide the destination after stepping out of the campus, and so , the story goes ....
6:31 pm, the time we checked out. The question is, "left or right" ? Something celestial happens, and we decide on going 'right'. Ok, the first decision being over, we had a lot of time for the next because the road we were walking on is a highway without any diversion for around a kilometer. So, walking with full zeal. "Dude, what do we say incase someone askes where we are going ?" . "Nowhere, what else", said one of us.
We wanted to reach the Zuari river somehow. So, after we had crossed a bridge, we took the first road that turned right. Initially, we were in between some residential buildings but slowly as we walked and walked, the houses began to give way to little wet hillocks, all very green with undergrowth. But we still had a thin roa dto walk on, and we were glad for that. We just didn't want the road to end disruptly. A dead end , and we will have to walk all the way back ! Incase it is not a dead end, we would reach somewhere and take a bus back to the campus. Climbing up and down, up and down the road on the wet hills, we saw a couple of lonely houses. Except for them, it was all trees, creepers, caterpillars and what not (and yeah, thankfully, the road to walk on). And then, finally, after having climbed to the top of a hill, and where I was sure I would get a glimpse of tha bank of the river, the road took a sharp turn and ran aside a wall. 1 minute before I was sure we were far far away from the campus, and this moment I realized, damn, it was the boundary of BPGC !!Whew, we took an exact 360 degree round and reached where? THE BACK OF OUR CAMPUS !!! No, this could not be the end of the adventure, but it was the end of the road ! Shortly after, the road ended and gave way to a foot thick way through the grass. And we still had time before it would have started to darken. So, we took the 'road less taken'. Keeping a lookout for snakes or scorpions (and ruddy spiders we couldn't avoid), after having jumped and dodged , we reached a clearing in the forest. It was a little grey rocky hillock adorning a blanket of finger-long grass but the purple-grey rock showing clearly at places. And then, to astonishment, there were two little ponds (ofcourse, full of algae and water skeeters). Whoa, we discovered two great lakes eh !!!

By now, it had started t get dark and we knew it would be one hell of a job to find our way across the jungle at night. We did have a flashlight, but you can't shoo off snakes and scorpions with it, can you ? So, we started to leave, but on the way, there was another temptation: A stone fence topped by barb wire. Now, don't know why, we were tempted to go and see what's on the other side (maybe we thought there would be a way). But anyways, we crossed and for that, we had to destroy the fortification!
And, after a bit of snooping around and finding no way, we had to jump across the wall we earlier encountered.
Finally, inside the campus, we had to go to the gates. guess why. We had checked ourselves out while going. Now we had to go back to the gates to check ourselves back in !! (from inside the campus , ha ha !! )

no topic for this post !!

2008-08-09T05:00:00.003+05:30

Krana is sick, so is veela_lover. All of them having fallen prey to some ruddy virus are facing continued elevation in temperature and throat disorders. The doc says it is viral fever and that it is spreading fast in the campus. So, anyone from BPGC reading this post, well, I don't know what precautions to take myself, but guys, do avoid it if possible. Just yesterday when a friend asked me the same thing, I told her that yeah, I am not gobbling ice creams, I m not messing around in the rains, anything else that I could do ? She said, "dats good". :)
Anyways, would get back soon,

chill.

Rains in Ahmedabad

2008-07-28T06:14:00.002+05:30

Yeah, when it rains, it pours.
Sitting in my house at Ahmedabad and enjoying the thunder rumbling outside. Raining cats and dogs, literally !!

Childishness !!

2008-07-17T13:12:00.003+05:30

Just now, I was about to give a topic to this post but then, I realized that it is not wise because as it always happens, I start writing something and by the time I reach the end, I don't know where I have reached. So, postponing the title for the time being.
I was just wondering that the more we grow, the more we keep burdening ourselves. Isn't it insane ? With growth, we should be more matured and be able to understand things more. But today, umpteen circumstances, ethics, culture etc. ... all these make you is unaware of your purpose.
My three year old cousin sister, here at Ahmedabad, has taught me so much that envy her of the expressiveness. For example, children, when they are happy, they would express it instantaneously: they would laugh, dance, jump and dance, clap..
They don't care about what the people think. They would just 'express' it whatsoever. But see the so called matured people: when we are happy, we would hide it thinking that laughing out loud and showing the teeth is bad. We wouldn't dare jump and clap. Can you ? If you are damn happy suddenly and you are in a cultured place, maybe a restaurant or 5 star hotel, or someone's place with elderly people, would you just start jumping and laughing holding your tummy with both hands ? Nah ! You would try controlling. See, this is what our customs and culture have taught us.
Now, I don't completely defy the customs, etc. Now, in classroom or a funeral, you can't expect to have the permission to start jumping and giggling suddenly. And there are many other cases like this where discipline is important. What I want to emphasize upon is that we need to be ourselves sometimes. In the course of our lives, we forget what we truely want. We even start forgetting what makes us happy and what makes us sad.
Just try it out. Just look at your life and identify what was .For a moment, just forget everything else. Trust me, for a moment, you would find yourself happy: just like child.

Sad

2008-07-12T08:19:00.002+05:30

Just came across the news that the director of our college passed away on the fifth of this month !
Strangely , I logged on the website talkofcampus.com and found the news on the college news category.
(that's Goel sir to the extreme left)

Don't yet know about the authenticity of the statement, but if it is true, it is very sad. He was one person there who actually cared about the campus. Lets see, how true the news is.

I know, I know

2008-05-28T19:39:00.002+05:30

ya ya, I know been a long time, but I have been out of any correspondence with anyone lately,
U would fine a new poem at my poetry blog
(though the last poem 'the wind' is still incomplete and I have no plans to complete it in the near future)

cheers

The picture.

2008-05-15T23:51:00.004+05:30

Another year ends. A period of time, starting with guilt and subsequent resolutions, weakening promises, and the urge to hold tight, hopes, dreams, and the strife for attaining something that makes you feel that yeah, the dots on life are finally joining. A period of making castles in the air and protecting them so that they don't fall down to the earth. A period of making people believe that some things are possible even if the world opposes it inspite of having no example to prove that. And finally, closing the eyes and saying.. "Man, you did well this time", but not having enough faith on the words spoken.

But looking back to what has just finished, it seems that a lot worse could have
happened! Atleast, things were better, if not the best. But wheresoever the word 'atleast' comes to picture, a vague image of 'compromise' is seen in the background! But, for this, it is quite comforting. But as it can be seen, the 'but' still prevails eh !

The painting of life is always incomplete. Somewhere the shades are dull and hide mysteries, some are too revealing and give you a fake impression that you have understood everything. In my words, the 'pieces' don't fall inlo their right places, that's all, and all your life, you have to keep figuring out where the piece has to fall. Everytime a new piece comes across, you are unsure how to put, because putting it is not all, it has to fall into a place where the picture is still left incomplete, and putting it should make the picture a little less incomplete. But there are times when you know that a paricular piece has to fall into the place you are sure of, your heart and mind miraculously justify your decision, your intuition, but nobody except you believes in it. And all you can do is wait: wait to prove that you were right.

2008-05-07T23:23:00.001+05:30

A break in exams, and it feels like the vacations are on ! Anyways, posting a typical "Sagar' post after long.

It is about 'beliefs'. Remember my other post, 'A fight of directions' ? In that I wrote that I believed that the directions are all so different and it is difficult that they would be able to see in each others' directions. But it is not impossible. But what I am trying to figure out is that there's a reason why the directions see in the 'direction' they see! After all it is not the directions that chose to believe that way, it was that circumstances made them to! So, in that post I wrote,

It is a fight of opinions, a fight of perspectives, a fight of points of view, a fight of the way people see the world.A fight of dreams which don't want to get destroyed, a fight of an assumed future which cries out loud not to be changed, a fight of beliefs which strive not to be justified for their credibility, a fight of relationships.

But it shouldn't be forgotten that inside , deep within, the direction , the belief is fighting with itself. It tries to see something different, but it is not that easy. Because for a substantial amount of time, it has been moulded to believe what it believes. Circumstances, time, parents, friends, and so many factors ! You can't just shout to the world , "believe me, I am right, believe me , I am right". No, because that's like becoming insensitive to the beliefs other's have been proud to have. All you can do is wait, and maybe say, "Is there anything I can make you believe? ".
And, that's what I did.

Every other thing.

2008-05-05T23:46:00.003+05:30

Here I am thinking about my exam on the 7th, in the next room, Krana and ash are playing Assassins Creed. The room opposite, people with weary eyes are struggling with biology. The room next to next, Veela_lover is sleeping coz he would wake up around 2 am and start studying. Everyone's excited about the prospect of going home after the exams. But just imagine , some place far away, masses of people have lost their homes. Just read this news line:

A state of emergency was declared Sunday across five regions: the city of Yangon, Irrawaddy, Pegu and the states of Karen and Mon. All flights to Yangon, the former capital, were canceled.

"Most Burmese with whom we've been in touch report they lost their roofs, although so far everyone we have been able to contact reports that they and their families are safe," said a Yangon-based diplomat who requested anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media.

Most telephone and cell phone service was down in Yangon, a city of about 6.5 million people, according to a CNN correspondent there.

Strange. There's all havoc and destruction somewhere, and here I am, relaxing on my chair and typing.

Exams

2008-05-04T18:33:00.001+05:30

The much un-awaited exams are killing all the time man ! Just 2 out of 6 exams are over, and I already feel I need a break !! damn !

New post in the poetry blog.

2008-04-24T23:30:00.004+05:30

New post in the poetry blog..
Still in drafts.

Exams coming nearer, and not getting time to type in any posts.

Rain drops

2008-04-18T01:24:00.002+05:30

Am sitting here in my room. It's raining outside. Ha, one of the first rains of the season. The smell form the lawn.. charismatic !

The electricity just blew off, ha! can't type more . Battery low.

2008-04-17T00:59:00.001+05:30

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Robert_Frost/

The command line mode of life.

2008-04-15T00:23:00.001+05:30

Ha well, I am trying to shift to the command line mode of life. It is pretty exciting and challenging. Well, ofcourse, you have to banish yourself from things like movies and stuff, but still, it feels real cool..... just a black background and white alphabets, that's all. Cool man.

A day out and a nasty gift

2008-04-13T22:48:00.004+05:30

Aah, what a day out. We had a day out today to celebrate 'Veela_Lover's Birthday. Messed around in the city, had huge laughs, irritated people, and yeah, the best part what the gift that we gave to him:

Now, there's this gal we call 'Veela' , and I managed to get a pic of her from somewhere, (don ask me) and a bit of my hand at 'Gimp', (the default image editor for Ubuntu), and.......... the thing was done. Now, it was not that perfect (anyone would tell it is morphing), but still, it looked good! A clipped out a pic of Veela_lover and put it in the pic of Veela, merged some background , and after using a couple of filters, VOILA, what a pic yaar !!!!

Then, today, when we went to Panaji, we searched out a photo studio and I got the pic printed, and bought a decent photo frame, that's all !!

Obviously, the pic i put here is deliberately blurred and disguised, the original pic is too cool !!

A fight of directions.

2008-04-11T21:30:00.005+05:30

All directions are so very different, yet so dependent on each other. A north won't remain a north if south wasn't there, yet , as long as south exists, it would always point away from it. It knows that it is nothing without south, but while it lives, it can never see in that direction.

It is a fight of opinions, a fight of perspectives, a fight of points of view, a fight of the way people see the world.A fight of dreams which don't want to get destroyed, a fight of an assumed future which cries out loud not to be changed, a fight of beliefs which strive not to be justified for their credibility, a fight of relationships.

Now, I try to make people see the world the way I do, because I think it is worth seeing , but not everyone would want to admire it , see it the way I want them to show! Some people don't even know what I want to show, what I want to make them believe, and that's why they think i am insane. But the problem is that they don't even try to see the way I do ! They don't imagine how grave an impact their words can have. If only they could just try......

Thoughtful!

2008-04-10T17:47:00.002+05:30

A got a mail today and I have been thinking about it since some time. The topic of the mail was
"What I have learnt".
there were a number of quotes and one of them was:
I have learnt that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things:

1.A rainy day

2.Lost luggage

3.Tangled Christmas tree lights

interesting !

Knowing , yet not !

2008-04-08T00:27:00.002+05:30

Chemistry paper tomorrow. And yeah, Biology too! Discovered many new things today, the syllabus, the books, damn. The books look so unfamiliar. Now, both the exams are open-book, i.e. you are allowed to carry the books with you and refer to them whenever you please, but it is not as exciting as it sounds. You are allowed to carry the books with you because not a single question is going to come from there! It is just to keep your spirits high.

don't lose what u do have for dreams that might never come true...

2008-04-05T23:00:00.004+05:30

"don't lose what u do have for dreams that might never come true..."
this was what someone told me today. The problem is that I don't know how to put it and where.

OK, I know that you can't always lose all that you have for something in the future, but, you need something to live right? You need something that can drive you, when you are down, something that can lift you everytime life has kicked you. And isn't it dreams that everyone sees? And I believe it is necessary, otherwise , the circle of life remains incomplete! Now, you are doing something today, why are you doing it ? It is because you see its reflection in the future! You first visualise what the consequence would be, and only after you are very sure of what the outcomes would be, you actually do something!

Now, how can you achieve something when you don't dream for it? A person who reaches high, is a person who, in the past, had dreamed high. And it is not about dreaming high or dreaming low... it is just a matter of dreaming!

The truth is that I believe in something, and I believe in it so truely that I cannot see a way other than that! I somehow see it as the final consequence, the destiny! But people are trying to tell me that it is wrong. I know , they are right in their place, because they don't want me to take a wrong decision in such intricate matters, because my belief is logically incorrect ! Even I know that. What I believe is logically incorrect, but it is something that I believe, and I can't help it !

It is just like religion! Millions of people around the globe pray to god , atleast once a day. they pray for forgiveness, they pray for thanks-giving, they pray, for the happiness of their loved ones, and, they pray for themselves! And when I miracle occurs, they are not surprised, because they believe that it is because of the one they pray to, the one who takes care of all the creatures on earth. It doesn't require any reason, it needs no clarification, no logic. It is simply a belief, that's all! no need of anything else to justify it ! It is a simple thing: you always see the world the way you want to see. Even if there are a hell lot of smashes on my face against my belief, still, there are some good points too! And i consider them, give them priority over everything else.

I know that, what I believe in, may never come true.
I know that people may laugh at me when they hear about it.
I know that there's no logic, no reasoning.
I know that it is like behaving like a baby, clinging to its toy, not letting it go.
I know that the whole castle might be devastated by a gentle gale.
I know that, I know that ! Obviously !

But it is something that I believe.
It is something that I hope, will come true one day.

This is my belief.

I don't know why or how, but it will be true.......... today, tomorrow, or years after.... and, I will wait.

Ha ! I survived the day !

2008-04-02T21:02:00.002+05:30

No, I was not fighting aliens, nah! I was not battling worships, noops, I was not striving to bring about a global revolution against some TEE virus trying to eradicate mankind, No ways, I didn't save a 1000 people from the clutches of some ruddy terrorists! ............................. I was only trying to tell that.............. I attended 7 classes today! thats all !

Oh damn, what a ruddy stressful day! A total of 7 hours, sitting in the classes, is not only a great, fabulous workout, .. well, it has actually jammed my brain today! Damn, can't think. Can't do nothing. Now my poor brain needs some rest. But, congrats to myself, I survived the day! ......... (I wrote something here about motivating Romans going to war, but then I deleted all that ).

The internet speed here is so pathetic, that you would actually feel like booking tickets to the US, take a flash drive with you, go to the headquarters of whatever website you want to load, request them to copy its pages into your drive, take a flight back to your country, fire up your system, plug in the
drive, copy the files onto your system, right click on the web page, select 'open with' , click on the name of your favorite browser, get yourself a hot mug of coffee, adjust the arm rest of your chair, and , what? View the page man !
(I can bet, all this will take lesser time than loading the page via the internet, provided you make the flight booking on time)

The reason I wrote all the crap above is that I was beginning to write a review of an interesting website I came across. But, by the time I am writing all this, I have had to refresh the other tab 6 times, because the browser is giving away , thanks to the divine internet speed. Anyways, the website will have to wait for some time eh !

have fun,
(while I am dozing off)

Finally made a fool!

2008-04-01T22:46:00.004+05:30

I thought nobody would be able to fool me this time, but, at last, near the end of the day, someone did make me a fool! Aah, I wasn't really expecting it at that instant of time! Anyways, it was fun in the end !

Now, something different that I did today. I rode on a bicycle ! Ha ! I know that's funny enough to be worth mentioning, but I enjoyed riding on a bicycle after a couple of years altogether! Well, we were just returning from the cafeteria, and I say a lone unlocked bicycle near the hostel entrance. No, don't please think that we nicked it or something (though the idea seemed very enticing at that moment). Ha,we (like sincere kids) waited for the owner of the cycle. Finally, the much awaited personality arrived ( the person responsible for the maintenance of the local network connections, cables , etc.), and we surrounded him asking him if he would mind letting us ride his cycle for a couple of minutes. Now, (that we were so damn persuasive), he let us. So, one by one, we took rounds.. (ash taking th pics and videos). Aah, it was good !

No, we didn't have coconuts hanging from our bicycle, I only wanted to depict a typical 'Indian' bicycle that we rode on ! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

April Fools' Day

2008-04-01T00:51:00.000+05:30

April fools' day ! interesting.

I was just wondering, how it all began? What made people start playing pranks, and make a fool of their fellows ... on one particular day? And why the selected day was April 1 and not any other day? A bit of research led to this:

Ancient cultures, including those as varied as the Romans and the Hindus, celebrated New Year's Day on or around April 1. It closely follows the vernal equinox(March 20th or March 21st.) In medieval times, much of Europe celebrated March 25, the Feast of Annunciation, as the beginning of the new year.In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1. That year, France adopted the reformed calendar and shifted New Year's day to Jan. 1. According to a popular explanation, many people either refused to accept the new date, or did not learn about it, and continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April 1. Other people began to make fun of these traditionalists, sending them on "fool's errands" or trying to trick them into believing something false. Eventually, the practice spread throughout Europe.

It is worth noting that many different cultures have had days of foolishness around the start of April, give or take a couple of weeks. The Romans had a festival named Hilaria on March 25, rejoicing in the resurrection of Attis. The Hindu calendar has Holi, and the Jewish calendar has Purim. Perhaps there's something about the time of year, with its turn from winter to spring, that lends itself to lighthearted celebrations.

This was the information I got at one of the sites: http://www.infoplease.com/spot/aprilfools1.html .
Its funny how a little incident in the past initiated a chain of consequences, and today, the whole world knows about it.

Have Fun,

Cheers.

Three birthdays together.

2008-03-31T01:33:00.002+05:30

A party just got over! Or better said, a combination of 3 parties. 3 of our friends had the birthdays today....
Trying to put it in words:
11:55 pm
>People start gathering in the lawn in the center of the hostel.
>People shouting out to all the people still in their rooms.
>Finally at 12, the three hostages are dragged right to the center of the lawn.
>Starting with 'Patwari', there's so much rush in the lawn that it seems that people will have to take turns to kick his butt!
>Round one starts:
ONE...OOH.. TWO... AAAAHHHH, THREE.... ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH , HE IS SLIPPING, HOLD NICELY, AAH, AREY PEOPLE, COME IN LINE, FOUR.. NAHEEEEEEEEEE,,,, PEOPLE PEOPLE, EVERYONE WILL GET A CHANCE, COME IN LINE.. AAAAHHHHHHH COMEON, ONE TWO THREE... WHAM, (RIGHT IN THE CENTRE)... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, OUCHHHHHHHHHHH. FIVE . AAAAAAH, SIX....... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.(and the saga continued!)
>Throwing patwari on the grass, everyone starts closing in around Ash.
>NO NO, COME WITH DIGNITY PEOPLE.... AREY TERI TO! ONE (and the same sequence of sounds are emanating from the poor creature which were heard a couple of minutes before)
>Now, everyone exhausted, but, still there are people in the congregation whose life passion is to kick butt!
>So, still, a decent number of people now gather around Mudit.
>I don't wanna express the sequence of sounds this time. But probably the symphonies this time were on a lower note thanks to patwari and ash, a lot of natural resources and manpower was aimed at their butts, so now, energy amongst the people wasn't that high!:(
>Slowly as people calmed down, (probably to catch breath for the next round, the hostel-assistant, Tripathi, comes over.
>A few sentimental dialogues , and composed anger.
>People disperse shouting: "TRIPATHI................... HAI HAI" (thats too common now)
>Back to the first floor.
>Black forest cake, finished in a very uncivilized manner by me ! (from somewhere a hand came to grab the last big piece, how could I let it go ? )
>A very formal interview of two of the hostages, Ash and Mudit. (The questions ranged from "the name of your latest GF (or BF if applicable!) to explanation of specific words which can't be mentioned here)
>Finally a discussion of ten people as to where the party should be thrown by the Birthday boys (this time I didn't call them hostages).
>The discussion ended with no conclusion (this is what mostly happens)
>Guruji asked the people to disperse (he didn't want to miss any of the fun, but he had to go to bed early also because he had to wake up early the next day because unlike us, he attends all the lectures... and that's the reason he is called guruji)

In the middle

2008-03-30T02:51:00.002+05:30

In the middle of what ?
Yeah, I am in the middle of two movies. Resident evil 2 and resident evil 3.
Just finished the second part, now having downloaded the third, we plan to call it a day( or better said: night) after that.

The T-virus, ahh! Now lets see, what happens in the extinction (that's what the movies title reads). Gosh, the Racoon city is down, thanks to the Umbrella Corporation. And the gal in there has turned into some super human, pretty comical in a sense. Atleast till the first part, it made some sense, but now it all looks to be made just for the heck of it!

A typical Saturday night. Yeah, you can say that. Within some time, it will be morning.

hello folks !

2008-03-28T23:24:00.003+05:30

Just had a typing competition with my friend, obviously I won, but that guy isn't ready to accept that he's crap when it comes to typing. Ya, and what a racket we made in the hostel by playing the song 'Tum to thehre pardesi' in full volume this evening! gosh, nice scene.
I finally feel above the ground today because I accomplished a task which I had been postponing since long.

and yesterday I came across this:

"If you want to be happy, set a goal that
commands your thoughts,
liberates your energy,
and inspires your hopes."

- Andrew Carnegie

Interesting.

Well well,

2008-03-27T22:47:00.000+05:30

well well, nothing really exciting to write today. I am writing approximately 1 hour earlier than I usually write. Planning to bring some radical 'improvements' in my nocturnal life, or better said, trying to deplete it . But, it feels like I have missed out something great in life the day I sleep before 1 am . Its kinda become a habit. Whatsoever.... things gotta change.
Yeah, something I would love to mention. I just noticed something today, realized that a poem that I had read in 4th standard was so very true ! Can you guess the poem....the 'Solitary Reaper'.... remember ? This was one poem I really adored in my childhood. Here are the lines:

BEHOLD her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the Vale profound
Is overflowing with the sound.

No Nightingale did ever chaunt
More welcome notes to weary bands 10
Of travellers in some shady haunt,
Among Arabian sands:
A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard
In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,
Breaking the silence of the seas
Among the farthest Hebrides.

Will no one tell me what she sings?--
Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow
For old, unhappy, far-off things,
And battles long ago: 20
Or is it some more humble lay,
Familiar matter of to-day?
Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,
That has been, and may be again?

Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang
As if her song could have no ending;
I saw her singing at her work,
And o'er the sickle bending;--
I listened, motionless and still;
And, as I mounted up the hill 30
The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more.

The poet doesn't really understand the language of the solitary reaper, but its like deja'vu: a feeling that you know what all the words mean, you know why they are being said, and it is not necessary to translate them into any other language. A similar incident took place today. I and my friend were forced to go to the market in Vasco (the reason was that we both were in a crisis situation because nearly all our footwear had worn out, you can imagine the condition when I tell you that I had to wear my bathroom slippers to class, arrrghhh that was messy, seriously ! ). There's a temple out there, and there was some program there for which they had set up huge tents and elegant sets and lighting system (obviously in the middle of the road, that's what happens in India, everyone thinks that the roads belong to their grandpa, and the most irritating scene is when , in the middle of the road , you see some yellow and blue colored tents, and some marriage feast going inside them, blocking the traffic and forcing you to take a u turn ). Ya, so, there was a huge gathering of people out there, and even we stopped for a moment or two. Now, that guy over there who was speaking on the stage was talking in Marathi. Now I have no idea about that language, it is as good to me as Russian or Urdu! But I was amazed to fine that I could actually feel what he was saying ! He was talking something about spirituality, I really don't know what, but I was somehow understanding.. maybe it was the cool way he was explaining , or the atmosphere of hundreds of people listening keenly, or the element of spirituality and religion connected with it, but it was a good feeling.

The tale of a dumbo dog !

2008-03-27T00:19:00.003+05:30

So, things are going on, and on, and on.... times just passing .
We had a meeting of ASCII today, that's the official association of the Dept. of Computer Science in BITS Goa. Quite inspiring. Initially, it was the regular stuff, then, the coordinator started narrating his story: how he tried and got his paper published in IIT Kanpur. Inspite of the fact that he believed he wasn't worth it, his paper in cryptographic networking, or something like that, got the maximum marks out of 1600 entries from across the country! That's big deal, ofcourse eh ! You really get motiated when you talk to people like these. Later while coming back, my friend Guruji (dont ask me why I call him that) was telling that he would want such meetings to take place every weekend, atleast the side-effects would persist for a continued duration !
Anyways, there was this incident which took place yesterday. Now, I will just copy the chat I had with one of my friends, when I was narrating the incident:

me: ha ha !
talking about dogs,
I had a very embarassing incident recently
Friend: interesting!
kya hua?
me: infront of the entire class of CP, in the LT !
day b4 yesterday,
when I entred the class late, a dog entered from the opposite door
:)
Friend: :)
me: Now, lucy was scared,
Friend: den?
me: and she was asking someone getup and shoo it
no1 got up
Friend: den?
me: sow, that time was still standing, and trying to figure our where to sit
*I
so, I took the "INITIATIVE"
and chased the dog,
instead of going out of the LT
it ran atop the side stairs of the LT
AND I WAS Running after it !
Friend: :)
me: gosh, what a scene !
and the, the upper door was also open,
Friend: wish i would have witnessed ?
!!
me: so, i tried to pull it out by the neck, it refused to move
then I stamped my foot, and what not
but it wouldnt move
gosh, everyone was laughing their head off !
Friend: :)
me: ESPECIALLY THE GIRLS !
:(
then, my pathetic brain got a plan,
Friend: i m having a gr8
tym
then
me: usually, the most lousy of all ideas come to you in the most traumatic times
Friend: ya
so wht was d plan?
me: I jumped,
and jogged out of the door,
thinking that the dog would follow me
gosh,
Friend: de?
den?
me: at this, half the class was standing on their feet,
Friend: k
me: and catching their stomachs laughing
then, when I reached outside the door and turned back,
Friend: den?
lemme
me: expecting the dog to have followed me,
Friend: guess
me: the dumbo,
Friend: dog was smiling instead
me: wha?
Friend: at u
me: nooooooo
Friend: then
class said the bull dog at leas left
me: that lazy bone was lying on the floor, dozing off
Friend: ha ha
me: can you believe that
that dumbo,
Friend: seems like a gr8 incidence!
ha
u calling the dog also dumbo?
me: I raised my hands and came back to ma place.
Friend: den
finlly dog also attended cp1 lec
!!
me: WHA THEN, THE WHOLE CLASS CLAPPED !
POOH!
AND YES, THE DOG ALSO ATTENDED THE ENTIRE LECTURE
I NOTICED IT NODDING WHEN LUCY WAS TEACHING LEBELS
*LABELS
;D
Friend: :D
sure a memory
of the lifetime
:)
me: yeah, !
I will probably put this in my blog in todays post,
along with a pic of the LT !!
:D
Friend: n d dog too
pls
me: he he !
I will try !
Friend: n wht ll be title ?
me: haven decided,
advice ?
Friend: bura mat manna
waise
1. sagar kinare, kutta pukare
me: wow!
is everything fine with you ??
:D
gosh,
Friend: k
me: what a title
Friend: sounds very pathetic
me: OB
Friend: try doggy instead og kutta
me: wow,
rehne do, please

So, now, I would obviously not put the topic that my friend suggested and I didn't manage to get a proper picture of the lecture theater that I could add to this post portraying the adventure! I guess I got lucky that I dropped the idea, or else I would have made a real crack of myself! Now, I am crazy, I know that, and I don't have to prove that !

Aah, since morning, I am having problem writing a program. Damn, it was a simple program embedded with shell scripts and in the end when I successfully compiled it and tried to run, damn, it gives wrong vaules. ARRGGGGHHHHHHH till now, I haven't been able to figure the bug in the code. It is some damn logic error, the elements of one of the matrices are getting over-written at some point of the code. And I am not able to figure out where. Anyways, I will work over it. In the mean time, Test 2 is looming in. ARRGH, I hate the thought of it. Now I have to make some serious resolutions to atleast start the preparation eh !

PS: And I really can't think of a topic for this post, ha! no ways, I am definitely not putting what my friend had suggested above, no ways !

Everything remains the same !

2008-03-26T12:35:00.001+05:30

Now, I have the right to be philosophical today ! Why should I shut my eyes to what I am seeing everyday, every second.... reality. Sometimes it feels like shouting out loud 'Life is beautiful, life is beautiful . . . blah blah',..... and sometimes, it feels strange to find that what the heck is going on ! This is not right. But these shouts just bounce back, and everything remains the same. Oh, yeah, it does.

It has happened before, 6 years back, and it happened again yessterday, and it will ofcourse happen again. It is like reality hitting you right into your face. I am talking about witnessing death.

Yesterday, at the condolence meeting in the auditorium, for the first time I had experienced such quietness. The entire auditorium was full, yet, everyone was so silent. It realy felt that, oh yeah, something was wrong. It was difficult to believe actually! And now, today, I went for my classes... everything was the same. The same noise in the lecture theatre, the same comments on teachers, the same unsuccessful attempts of faculty to generate interest amongst the students, the same wave of pleasure after the teacher concludes the class, the same reluctance for the uncooked food in the dining halls, the same queues near the juice counter, the same pleasant wind while crossing the central lawn after lunch..... the very same people whom I greeted the day before yesterday, the same smiles. Damn, everything is the same! It is just that one person is missing...... and it doesn't make a difference. It is all the same.

Well, it is not that I was real close to the person I talked about in the last post or something. It is not that I am really affected by his death or something, but it is the fact that I begin to question the credibility of whatever we do... because finally we have to succumb to the end: Death! Taking the example of 'Snehith', now, he had so much knowledge about designing and animation. He knew so much, and wanted to know so much. five days back, everything existed..... all his dreams, all his knowledge, his enthusiasm, all his aspirations. And see, today, all of them have vanished into oblivion! Nothing exists today. Nothing.

People spend their entire lives hungry and greedy for things. What they don't understand is that in the end, they aren't gonna take away anything with them. As children, we want food, then new drawing books, then better grades, then better universities, then better jobs, then better partners, then better assets, ..... and the list is endless. We always put a condition to our happiness (this was one of the things discussed during the Art of Living, YES+ course). We always need something to be happy....... and by the time we achieve a bit of it, we die (or even much early).
I really don't don't know what I am trying to write .

How is it possible man ?

2008-03-24T09:08:00.000+05:30

Seriously, I still can't believe this ! It has been 24 hours since the news got my to ears and still, it sounds fake !

There's this guy in our campus, named Snehith. He was one of the coolest designers here. He used to make the inaugral videos of all the festivals, used to design the posters..... and what not. And BANG ! suddenly I come to know that he is dead ! damn. I still feel strange when I am writing this sentence. Heck! He's no more!

Yesterday most of the hubs on DC (Direct Connect on our local network) were down. When inquired, we came to know that a guy called Snehith was probably no more, and the hubs were were down to prevent the rumors from spreading and creating panic. Gosh, I knew this guy . No, its not possible! How can someone die just like that eh ! No, that's just some god damned joke, that's all ! But I was proved wrong when continuously, I got the same news from different people. Gosh, I can't believe it........ and my vision started fading away...

It is early August of the year 2007. I and my friend ,krana, are sitting in my newly alloted room and discussing the timetable. None of us has the slightest hint what to do with it. We have just landed in a new city, in a new institute and enstranged, as we feel, we are trying to figure out what does the time-table mean. After some time, we realise that we are reaching no conclusion, and we decide to meet some seniors (something we were anticipating since the time we stepped into BITS Pilani, Goa campus).After getting ready, we step out of the hostel. Its raining badly. Damn, we will have to take the longer route to the hostel directly apposite the central lawn, else, we get wet. 5 minutes later, we find ourselves climbing the steps that lead to the A wing hostels from the way adjacent to the workshop. We meet a senior there whom Krana knows. Apparently, he was flirting with a couple of females and was not really pleased when disturbed him. 30 minutes later, we are walking near the hostels behind the A dining hall, cursing ourselves for having wasted time with that senior. Now we are desperate to meet someone who can really help. Quite unsure of ourselves, and with the fear of getting 'ragged', we enter one of the senior hostels. The board outside the hostel says AH7. Entering it, we turn right, trying not to look directly at any senior, lest they should recognize that we are freshers. The first door: locked. The second, the third.... all locked. Finally, near the end of the gallery, there's this one which is ajar, and the sound of Counter Strike blaring out. We knock, and one curly haired guy opens the door. "hi, arrrr, we are 1st years, we need help with the timetable!". Come in, come in, he says. 1 hour passes, and we have talked nearly about all the essentials and the things a fresher should know (including some passwords to access the computers of the computer center illegally!) . In the end we asked his name. He replied, "Snehith".
So, this was the first time I met him. And recently, I had subscribed to his blog. When today, after the condolence meeting, I tried to view his blog, I got a window saying that the blog has been removed. Damn, I don't know who removed his blog after his death (someone who had all the passwords) , but why did he/she do it ! Atleast they could have let his blog stay so that people would know haw damn talented he was.

That's all for today.

Following are some snapshots of his blog which I managed to retrieve from Google's cache:

This was the wallpaper I saw on his comp the first time I met him. I was gasping the first time I saw this.

Difficult to believe he exists no more !

Virtually awake.

2008-03-20T17:30:00.000+05:30

04:15 AM: finished with all the least important things considering the present situation. Less than 12 hours to leave for home. I think I should start packing now atleast.

04:25 AM: Well, not much to pack, the thing's nearly over surprisingly! But the tit-bit things are still left....argggh! my toothbrush !

04:36 AM: Damn, I forgot , I gotta shave too. M looking like a runaway baboon from a zoo.

04:50 AM: Yeah, now with a clean face, I look enough human to return home.
Hold a sec, did I keep the documents my dad had asked me to bring with me ?
NO!

05:00 AM: God! I am damn sleepy. I am pleased with myself that atleast I m sleepin after the packing is over. And now, I badly need sleep, but I doubt whether I would bother to wake up for my lectures tomorrow, I mean today! Zzzzzzzzzzz whoops, I just slept typing this. I am only virtually awake. Huh !

05:13 AM: I managed a cool pic for this post:

Looking back.

2008-03-19T12:40:00.000+05:30

First of all, I have decided today that now onwards, I won't give a topic to my post before writing it because it always happens that I start with something and by the time the post is finished, I reach some different corner of the globe!

So, my last post was about my high school. Having done with that, those memories have been constantly hovering over my mind. Looking back to those days, I believe that high school a time when although the perception is limited, yet, you seem to be on the top of the world ! Its a phase when you are beginning to understand the complexities of life, though you still believe that you are in some sort of 'protective charm' ! You begin to love taking risks, and the 'cool' factor comes to be a matter of importance.

Anyways, leaving out the sagas of high school blues and emotional insecurities, it is important to understand that though it is a time full of errs, negligence and ignorance (not to mention the arrogance), it also plays a vital role in strengthening your simple and innocent beliefs of those times! It happens, that sometimes, in life, we land up in a situation where the paths seem to be so blurred that it is difficult to see what lies beyond . And at such situations, all the knowledge, the information that has been dumped into the grey cells of our heads, all those complex inferences, those manipulations, just fall apart. But at those instances, one thing always works. And thats the simplest beliefs that bubble inside you. It is funny, but yeah, I have experimented and found that the most complex of all problems have the most complex of all answers found out by the simplest of all procedures ! (ask any Physics enthusiast about the book 'Crotov' by MIR Publications :) )

And yeah, that's also the time when you tend to make the best of all your friends. Now, ofcourse, paths and streams of people diverge gradually, but its not impossible to maintain contact eh ! Now, my high school friends, well, each of us (yeah, the word 'EACH') are in different cities, some abroad but we have good communication. We often talk about all the silly and pathetically childish things we did, those fights and quarrels (for reasons still unknown!), those basketball matches (and subsequent frustrated questions of Rose,"Tum log hamesha aage kyon chalte ho ?"), those long discussions on phone with Gag and Nash about 'Formula 42' (no comments), those punishments (once Reubs gave our names and I and Nitu had to stand out for a whole afternoon, for the silliest reason ever: playing badminton in the class ! .........and once we were made to stand the whole day, and the interesting thing is that it was 'Childrens' Day !!......... yeah, and the funniest of all, Prat got a thrashing from Bhatia madam just because his poor pencil dropped on the floor because of the wind ha ha ! ), then , those plannings about the farewell to be given to the seniors (in return we got to bunk all the classes ) and those endless grudges against specific subjects (and the grudges we got from our dear Hindi teacher, but even we irritated her a lot, so its all the same), I mean, atleast I made some real good friends that time, Rose, Nash, Nitu, Gag, Anshu, Reubs, Star, etc etc and one of them, particularly, came to be a person I am closest to, a person in whom I have believed more than anything!

Ha ha ! So , sometimes, looking back, it does seem how silly we were, but at the same time, wherever we are, its because what we did in the past . OK, that's it. PAUSE. No more nostalgic words, the present time is whooooo amazing, and I am loving it . (Mc D, tcha, long time !!)

I am going Zzzzzzzzz

now I give the topic of the post.....hmm.... 'Looking back' sounds perfect.

Talking about teachers.

2008-03-18T13:45:00.000+05:30

So, commitments, resolutions to oneself are so pathetically easy to break, I do realize that! Now, actually, that's what makes a difference between a person who decides his fate and a person who is decided by fate. If resolutions can be made strong enough that no matter what happens, the decision goes unaffected, then the element of fate subsides away, because you are in control: control of yourself, and perhaps, control of your surroundings. Its then that you see the umpteen walls of fate around your life melting away into oblivion. Its then that you decide what your life has to give you.

Well, these are not some great advices or some out of the box thoughts. Such things are always there, within us, but we fail to recognize them as part of our daily life. Yeah, it is funny, but something that belongs to us: we fail to claim it, in fact, we always try to disown it, throughout our lives. Now, for a simple example, its as simple as writing to someone who had been important in the past. Now it might be your previous neighbor, your old friend, your favorite teacher, your parents or grandparents. Basically, I am talking about those people who had been an important part of your life but, in the present, you haven't really been able to keep in touch with them. How many times you would have decided to phone, to mail, or do anything that makes them feel that you still remember them. Ha, now here's a secret: in the lower shelf of my closet, there lies a folder in which there is a half written letter. It has been half written since the last 4 months, or so. The header says, "Respected madam". I mean, its meant for one of my high school teachers who really made a difference in the place where I stood then. We called her 'Geeta Madam'.

Talking of 'Geeta Madam', well, she was one person in the school who really tried to make a difference. Even in history classes, she often used to tell us about anything important she would have heard in the news, or any book she found interesting, or sometimes, she would simply narrate to us a story, or a poem. She encouraged us to do something apart from he usual academics, participate in various* events (*various won't be a real good word here, because there was a serious lack of energy diverted to the extra-curriculars those days, and probably , those 'places' I should say). I would rather say that her effort began where the that of other teachers ended. For most of the other teachers teaching us, completing the damn syllabus was everything. And they considered that their role ended there. I am not saying this against anyone, I am talking about the general presumption, or rather the preoccupation amongst faculty. They are preoccupied by the fact that a job only means that at the end of the day, they should be able to meet their ends (in fact most of them easily cross over). But they should understand that being teachers, they can have such a positive impact in the students' minds ! I believe they have the power to bring about a revolution!

Now, for those who read Harry Potter. Remember, why does Voldermort want to return to Hogwarts? He wanted to teach there right? Because he believed that being there, he could project his thoughts in front of such a large number of fresh, innocent minds, and possibly create an army of his own. Now, please, I am not advising any one to torture young students and start some kind of force or something, I am only trying to imply that an equal change on the positive side, and on an admirable magnitude can be made if fresh minds are tended with enough sincerity !

Ok, back to Geeta madam. Ya, so she always tried to inculcate those things into us which would actually help us out of the academic world. Now, a little example. Somewhere in the middle of 2003, when I was in the 9th grade, there was an occasion when the 'Head Boy' badge had to awarded to me. There was also something else, probably some certificate to be given along with it. Now, I was called upon the stage, Geeta madam presented me the certificate. And now, I was eagerly waiting for the badge. It came, and, when she was giving it to me, since I had something in my right hand, I let out my left. PAUSE, gosh, something had gone wrong probably! Instead of handing it to me, she took it back. Gosh, the whole school is seeing man ! And with, a smile, she says, "Where are all your manners Sagar? your right hand , dear. " Now obviously, that was embarrassing (I am only glad that she didn't grab the microphone and spoke it out ! ). But, I would probably won't repeat it again.

There are some little things that make a better you . They mostly cling to you, but at erratic times, they tend to slip away !

I started this note talking about resolution, didn't I ? Well, an hour back, I had resolved to go to sleep, and see !

PS: record for the longest post !!

Google Sky

2008-03-16T15:25:00.000+05:30

A short while back, I came across google sky , accessed it for the first time. Its pretty interesting eh ! I was surfing across the sky when I noticed the 'Historical' option. Its cool, it lets see the Sun-signs projected across the sky. What I found pretty elegant is the archaic way the historical maps have been put up. Here is a screenshot of the browser when I searched for the sun-sign Cancer. Its there, in the middle.

:)

2008-03-15T17:24:00.000+05:30

Wow cool, awesome, great, incredible, ah! whatever, all I wanna tell is that I am really happy !

Well, it is not the usual time that I write , but that is obvious from the above statement that its not a general situation, like everyday! You know people, I just managed to get a pic of snowfall ! Can you believe it ? I know, you think I am crazy, but I am not. So, don't ask a question, just keep listening. Ya, so where was I ? Oh, yeah, I was telling that I managed to get a pic of snowfall ! Its like amazing, Well, I am not in the mood to really write anything philosophical right now (my usual style), because I have no intention to be serious, atleast for the next couple of centuries, argh, my cheek muscles have started to ache because I have been giving them a lot of 'smily' time since I don't know when !

All my extremely high heart can say right now is that, something which me and 'KRH' were discussing some time back, that there should be one thing in your life for which you can live your life for, and there should also be one person in your live for whom you can die for. Well, this is the secret of the smiley face you see above.

PS: please don't mind, I know I am insane for the time being. But, the interesting thing is that I wanna stay in this state forever!

I don wanna give a topic to this post !

2008-03-15T12:49:00.000+05:30

Just wished my parents, its their marriage anniversary. I was just remembering that last year, same day, when I was in Kota, I had made a resolution the day before that I won't forget to wish them. And guess what, the next day, in the evening my mum calls me, and after talking for a while, she says,"Don't you remember what day it is Sagar?". And I am a bit unsure about what answer I am going to give her, and then I suddenly realised that ah! I forgot, hell man. I then wished her, and the sound emanating from my vocal chords sounded like what is called 'formality'. The incident gave me a bad feeling.

Well, but this time, I took no chance. Entry on the Google calendar, an alarm on my cell, and two, yeah, two reminders again on my cell. Its funny sometimes, when you start to think how the importance of people, of people's happiness, of events relating to people gradually changes. For a little kid, its mum is everything in the world. As they grow up, face the world, as their little minds get filled up with bits and bits of memory, other people start becoming important to them. First their friends, then maybe, teachers, then friends again, then lovers, then their partners at work, then their own children, then their childrens' children. And guess what, in the end, they themselves become important to them. Because then, they are weak, and they have to take care of themselves and their partners, can't take a chance.

Huh ! Funny how thoughts emanate out of the blue, all of them so very different, so very unconnected, yet seeming to form a perfect storyline! I was talking about my parents, and two paragraphs down, I reached so far.

Now, I got to sleep, got my EG Mid sem tomorrow. Other people who got the first slot tomorrow were ranting about not getting enough time to study! Well, I told them, "Guys, think positively, screw the preparation, first slot means it gets over early !".

So, hmm!

2008-03-13T23:18:00.000+05:30

No, this is not the chant of 'Sudarshan Kriya', sorry, not at all. Its just a conclusive (so) exclamation of pleasure (hmm!). Ha ha, what crap.
Sometimes you get so used to a place that you don't realize where actually you stand. Now, for example, when we were kids, we used to think that ah! oneday we will be in college, we'd have that freedom, life will be so cool, we'd mess around all the time (most of the images projected by our very dear movies). And, see, if I were to ask any of my friends about how they feel, yeah they would say that life is cool, but where is all that charm, that excitement, that adventurous feel which was so prominent when we were kids ?
We generally eturn to our hostels after our dinner , and at other times, we go to dthe shopping center, and then return. But today, somehow , there was a collective decision of the three of us to go for a 'walk'. We walked, round the campus, the serene and secluded places where nobody bothers to give a damn to (but ideal for couples lurking around). We walked about the silent roads, making fun of people (yeah, on their backs), laughing, creating noise, just acting crazy. It was then, when we were for away from the usual places we flock to, some thoughts came to my mind. I just started visualizing what I used to when I was a kid, I tried to see my room, my hostel, my classrooms from the point of view of a child. And I felt big! I started comparing my present life, whatever I am today with what I wanted to be 10 years back. And I have all of it today! Someway or the other, yes, I have all of it, infact much more. And at that time, long back, it was so exciting to think that one day I'll do this, one day I'll do that and today, I do much more than all that, but still, it feels like normal.
So, I guess, the best way to make full of life is not to keep thinking of what we will attain one day, but to live this very moment!
We wish for something and say that if we get it, we will be happy. By the time we get it, we wish for something else and say that when we get 'that', we will be happy! Where is the happiness? hmm ? Its just a cycle. I know this is going too philosophical, but please, no need think a lot, because this is not always true. there are times when we are truely living the very moment, when we are truely happy, when we forget about the past and the future and want to live the very breath we are taking in.
There are times when we living the moment. When someone compliments you, when someone exclaims that they are here just because of you. One of my friends once said that sometimes the most humble of the words, by the right person, at the right time makes such a difference. So true it is.

A note on pessimism.

2008-03-12T23:48:00.000+05:30

Well, its funny how people can be so negative about things. To start with, I had conversation with two different people today, long conversations, and realised how differently people can think. Now there was this simple and pretty motivating mail about a speech given by Dr Abdul Kalam which I forwarded to many people, and I got a couple of replies, one of them saying that considering the present condition of the country, we should not forward such mails because we will never be able to really do something for the nation, and that nation is doomed. Can you believe it! This is what is crippling the world today. The pessimism is eating into everything, and, its contagious, everyone just gets enticed to sitting back and relax and ranting about the existing system, without wanting to do anything!
If you can't think, if you consider that 'you' can't do anything for the world, if you think that you are nothing but a piece of burden on earth, cool, why don't you sit back and relax ya! There are people out there, trying their best to make things better, working in various fields, hand they are making a difference. Its easy to sit back, eyes blind folded and die one day, rather than trying to pull away the curtains and working for the betterment of society.

Well, if you see the glass always half empty, atleast don't try to throw away all the water left, I'd rather you do nothing, for your sake.

The favicon!!

2008-03-11T20:43:00.000+05:30

Cool, I jus finished designing the favicon for this blog, and the other. Initially, i was trying to put something like an ocean, during winter and all, but that much details can't be visible in a 32 X 32 pixel icon ! So I finally decided is S thing.
But I think, the main page of the site "The World Of Ocean' looks real dull ! Need to add some good font space ane possibly , some images intermingling with the theme.. As yet, the site looks like this:

Yeah, yeah, I know it is dull.

Ha! An unlikely night-out!

2008-03-11T19:03:00.000+05:30

I had no idea that I wouldn't sleep the whole night. Heavy temples, aching shoulders..... wow.. But, that's not my fault, I got so fascinated by google pages..... that I spent the whole night designing a site for myself. man, here is the line.
Got to go to class!

Googling

2008-03-11T13:24:00.000+05:30

No, people, you are not getting tips here on how to google, if you accidently dropped in here searchin that.... bye bye.
Well well, been searchin for the last 5 hours for some really whacky blogger widgets, but in vain. Feel like addin somfin real cool, but not really gettin hold of anything like that. And the really pathetic speed here adds to the frustration ! Man !

Things to be tidied up, replies to be sent, blah blah, and here i am killing time , searching for code , huh! Guess we will be getting our maths papers tomorrow morn, man, now i don have an excuse for bunking the tutorial class. Will have to wake early.

In the mean time, I got a real cool msg :

"Each day with som1 new,
i'wud look n never find another u.
World is full o ppl,
i knw its true,
yet no1 cud ever equal,
d frnd i found in u."

Now, i better sleep, don wanna miss the paper distribution, though i already know the pathetic marks i've got, there's always hope that i will be able to point out some correction mistakes !! ha !

One Sunday afternoon

2008-03-09T15:28:00.000+05:30

yeah guys, this is 3:32 pm, and not am, ok ! Pooh ! Three days of junk, and I thought that atleast today I will have what can be called as 'Shuddh Bhatatiye Khaana', or whatever for the namesake (sounds good eh !) but here I am, sittin in my room, an my stomach rumbling with a cheese roll, a couple of patties, and flavoured milk with all those class 10 or whatever preservatives ! What a serious outcome of a saintly resolution ! Applaudible!

I am fighting with some aliens, they are terrorising the world, and I have to save it.... gosh, there is a bomb near my foot, holy shit ! Argh.... beep beep......... argggggggh....... beep beep..... damn, why can't i move, I will die... beep beep, whoooosh, where am I? Have i been apparated ? no. Oh, damn, this's my room, I was dreaming man !
beep beep,....... hold a sec, where's this sound comin from? I turn around, oh! now the reality dawns to me (although its late afternoon, and definitely not dawn) the electricity blew off, and the UPS was making the beep beep eversince, (thanks to fact that my dear computer is usually switched on ovenight). See, technology of today doesn't even catch hold of you while you sre awake, it is gripping even when u are asleep. Maybe , had the UPS not beeped, i would not have seen that very adventurous and glorifying (at the same time, scary and terrifying) dream; I might have dreamt of sitting alone in the Andes, on a rock, amidst solitude, and possibly meditating !

Leaving out the consequences of technology in our private lives (atleast my sleep shouldn't be that impervious), well, when I walked out of the door, all the doors in the alway were shut, and possibly bolted from the inside. Meaning? Yeah, you got that, the whole of the hostel, CH5 is having a nice saintly nap. Good, A blind is the king among the dead..... I hold the head high that i am the first to wake up... (not mentioning that it is 12 noon). Exactly 45 mins later when our bathroom had seen enough of toothbrushes, swollen eyes and not to mention, the lousy hairstyles, we set to make phone calls. And it took jus 10 mins for us tp realize (me, datass, veela_lover and ash) that the insti cafe had no food, and the only restaurant around had no cooks, after all, it was Sunday for them too ! They are also humans (I din say we were !). So, the usual thing that always works:
1. Out on a T shirt from the ones unwashed
2. Use the coolest deodorant you have (comeon, you are hungry, u an't gonna bath)
3. Stuff you wallets with cash
4. Run to monginis.

Well, well , the fest is up.

2008-03-08T21:46:00.000+05:30

Well, the cultural festival, Waves, is over. What a fun filled week its been ! It was nice to have all those colleges coming from outside, man ! there was so much of elegance all around that you can just stand somewhere and keep staring.... and staring..... around.... whoa ! what elegance ! :)

And the food ! I din visit the wretched mess even once in the las days, ofcourse that made sure that I was regularly visiting the ATM, but when appetite is concerned, you don't feel that guilty , do you ? Gosh, the kulfis were cool (frigid, i mean) but tchha, I missd the candy floss ha ha ! No, I am serious, i really wanted to have it, but one o my friends had a bad time after buying it, and sad to say, I was amongst the people who made fun of him !! So, obviously I had to drop the plan, that guy was on a lookout :o

Now, back to earth, the Mid sem is cropping in and the frustration about imagining all that shit, (m talkin about Engineering Graphics) takes its toll when you realise that not many days are left . But , its good, all this temporary glamour (yeah, I use the word 'temporary') brings your mi9nd off, away from the usual schedule... (oho, now many wouldn agree the schedule thing, and maybe even I don have a proper one eh !)....... but in the end, u feel good ..

weird instance ha !

2008-02-17T22:04:00.000+05:30

Well, well, in the midst of post-quark and pre t-1 blues, life gets a hell of adventure by silly , nasty things, sometimes at the most critical instances !
               Now how in the world are you supposed to know that you are not supposed to stand up from the chair, jus bacause the next moment you are about to realize that you have created a funny scene, and maybe really more pathetic for someone than the humour it carries for a microscopic amount of people ! Very very funny, isn't it, wha the heck man.
               And when I try to look at the history of these funny coincidences, I make a startling discovery! Everytime I am in the mess, and I unknowingly do something funny, or whatever, there's always that one
person around! Wow, i can't believe that I, Sagar Jauhari, has started justifying the
cause of silly occurances, of unusual coincidences, and of unwanted personification
of patheic humour! Blah Blah Blah ............ now a lil bit of wisdom,.......... who the heck cares ? hmm ?
            That's where everything ends, "Who cares ? ".
            Thats where even the last aspiration of mankind feels like some unwanted,              useless task.
            That's where the most pinching thought of embarrasment falls apart, and you force yourself to feel better !
            "Who cares ?". .. amazing though !

now after reading all of this silly crap, not making any sense at all.......... you must be cursing me, and making a perfect, never-breaking resolution....... never to come over such kinda shit again................. and I would say to you.....

"WHO CARES ? "

The instance just lost

2008-02-16T23:32:00.000+05:30

Time wins every war it fights, every step it takes, every heart it breaks, every wound it churns…to be unhealed again and again. Time also celebrates its victory, though quite selflessly!
I was wondering how much we are tricked in the turnings of our life, sometimes when you stop at a dead end, and you have to strive hard to break the wall that separates you from your goal. A single instance can just change your entire perception of life. A single realization can make you feel uncertain about the very beliefs that had governed your chain of actions, your way of life !
It feels alienated when you dedperately want to prove something but time simply doesn’t want to accept it, or, the present is reluctant to modify the future the way you want it to be.

Ah, well, the question arises, ‘why am I writing all this ? ‘. To say that my point of view has been a bit quaky would not be a very good reason, but I won’t completely discard it. My heart’s not been resting since some time and it wants to do a lot more , prove a lot more. But maybe, the time is just not right! Or maybe, I don’t want the time to be right!

I just lost an instance which could have been a good memory. An opportunity neglected becomes a curse, what more a curse can do than to waver your belief ? I t is the biggest curse to have lost faith, because then you are singled out, you are made to endure pain…… alone.